- If you’re not lifting people up you’re bringing people down.
- Leadership has less to do with authority and more to do with a mindset.
- Where the victim sees a problem a leader sees an opportunity.
- Don’t wait until you’re successful to work on your optimism. Work on your optimism and you’ll become a lot more successful.
- Be alone a lot. All massively creative people value solitude. It allows them to protect their dreams from the voices of dissent, refuel their creativity and get far more done–free from distraction.
- Small daily micro-wins when done continually over time lead to staggering results.
- Genius has less to do with natural talent and divinely blessed gifts and more to do with relentless focus (to the point of obsession), extreme practice and uncommon grit.
- Disrupt or be disrupted.
- Be the most honest person in every room.
- Remember that people don’t leave companies. They leave the people they worked for.
- Saying you’ll “try” is expressing “I’m not really committed.”
- The secret of passion is purpose. As I shared years ago in Leadership Wisdom from The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari, when you know your why, the hows just start showing up.
- If you’re the smartest person you know it’s time to know new people.
- Out learning everyone around you is a game-changer. The best love learning. Because once you know more you can achieve more.
- To make more money, help more people.
- Leaders Without Titles talk about ideas versus people and dreams versus others.
- Eat less food, get more done.
- The way you begin your day determines how you live it. So put mind over mattress. Win the battle of the bed. And join The 5 am Club (another total game-changer).
- Develop an obsessive attention to detail. World-class user experiences are all about winning at the small stuff everyone else doesn’t care about.
- Even if you clean toilets, do it with pride and love. This summer I met a man who cleans toilets at the Johannesburg airport. He beamed “welcome to my office” as I entered. The place was flawless. His passion was palpable. That man is my hero. And he reminded me that all work has dignity and honour.
These Rules are drawn from my over 18 years of passionate work with the Fortune 500 and from The Leader Who Had No Title.
1. To lead is to serve.
2. At the heart of mastery lives consistency.
3. Take care of the relationship and the money will take care of itself.
4. The seduction of safety is always more dangerous than the illusion of uncertainty.
5. To double your income triple your investment in your professional education and your personal development.
6. The swiftest way to grow your company is to grow your people.
7. If you’re not leaving a trail of leaders behind you you’re not leading–you’re following.
8. An addiction to distraction is the end of creative production.
9. The caliber of your practice determines the quality of your performance.
10. Leaders Without Titles are less about ego and more about getting things done.
11. Don’t worry about the economy when you can be so genius at what you do that you create your very own personal economy.
12. Lead where you are planted. Start where you stand. And remember that much of winning is just beginning.
13. The true measure of our leadership is how we perform in volatile conditions versus in times of ease.
14. To lead is to be yourself in a world of clones.
15. Aim for iconic. Why be in it if you’re not dreaming of being in the history books? But be kind, decent and ethical along the way.
16. The humblest is the greatest.
17. Energy is more valuable than intelligence. Health is more brilliant than gold.
18. The thing you most fear carries your greatest growth.
19. All change is hard at first, messy in the middle and gorgeous at the end.
- Criticism is the price brave people pay to arrive at iconic.
LOOK OUT FOR MORE NEXT WEEK!
Reproduced with kind permission of Robin Sharma Author of ‘The Leader Who Had No Title’
The Law of Sowing and Reaping suggests that we’ll all reap what we’ve sown, but it also suggests that we’ll reap much more. Life is full of laws that both govern and explain behaviors, but this may well be the major law we need to understand: For every disciplined effort, there are multiple rewards.
Everything of value requires care, attention and discipline. Our thoughts require discipline. We must consistently determine our inner boundaries and our codes of conduct, or our thoughts will be confused. And if our thoughts are confused, we will become hopelessly lost in the maze of life. Confused thoughts produce confused results.
For each discipline, multiple rewards. For each book, new knowledge. For each success, new ambition. For each challenge, new understanding. For each failure, new determination. Life is like that. Even the bad experiences of life provide their own special contribution. But a word of caution here for those who neglect the need for care and attention to life’s disciplines: Everything has its price. Everything affects everything else. Neglect discipline, and there will be a price to pay. All things of value can be taken for granted with the passing of time.
That’s what we call the Law of Familiarity. Without the discipline of paying constant, daily attention, we take things for granted. Be serious. Life’s not a practice session.
If you’re often inclined to toss your clothes onto the chair rather than hanging them in the closet, be careful. It could suggest a lack of discipline. And remember, a lack of discipline in the small areas of life can cost you heavily in the more important areas of life. You cannot clean up your company until you learn the discipline of cleaning your own garage. You cannot be impatient with your children and be patient with your distributors or your employees. You cannot inspire others to sell more when that goal is inconsistent with your own conduct.
Your life, my life, the life of each one of us is going to serve as either a warning or an example. A warning of the consequences of neglect, self-pity, lack of direction and ambition… or an example of talent put to use, of discipline self-imposed and of objectives clearly perceived and intensely pursued.
Reproduced with kind permission from Jim Rohn
- Do work that pushes you to your edges.
- Waste zero time on the past.
- Focus on being masterful at one thing versus mediocre at many things.
- Celebrate how far you’ve come versus the distance still to go.
- Accept the project you fear the most.
- Leave an inspirational quote on a stranger’s wind-shield.
- Wow a customer.
- Install a new habit.
- Remember that the mother of genius is simplicity.
- Know that the thing that is easiest to do is rarely the thing that is best to do.
- Speak less and listen better.
- Record your ideal day in your journal.
- Forgive someone.
- Don’t confuse money with meaning nor income with impact.
- Spend the first 20 minutes of your day in exercise (it seriously optimizes brain and personal performance).
Reproduced with kind permission from Robin Sharma
Here are some ideas to help make you a victor over change rather than a victim of change:
- Memorize and repeat this motto: “Action TNT: Today, not Tomorrow.”
Handle each piece of incoming mail only once. Answer your e-mail either early in the morning or after working hours. Block out specific times to initiate phone calls, take incoming calls, and to meet people in person. 2. When people tell you their problems, give solution-oriented feedback. Rather than taking on the problem as your own assignment, first, ask what’s the next step they plan to take, or what they would like to see happen.
3. Finish what you start. Concentrate all your energy and intensity, without distraction, on successfully completing your current major project.
4. Be constructively helpful instead of unhelpfully critical. Single out someone or something to praise instead of participating in group griping, grudge collecting or pity parties.
5. Limit your television viewing or Internet surfing to mostly educational or otherwise enlightening programs. Watch no more than one hour of television per day or night, unless there is a special program you have been anticipating. The Internet has also become a great procrastinator’s hideout for tension-relieving instead of goal-achieving activities.
6. Make a list of five necessary but unpleasant projects you’ve been putting off, with a completion date for each project. Immediate action on unpleasant projects reduces stress and tension. It is very difficult to be active and depressed at the same time.
7. Seek out and converse with a successful role model and mentor.
Learning from others’ successes and setbacks will inevitably improve production of any kind. Truly listen; really find out how your role models do it right.
8. Understand that fear, as an acronym, is False Evidence Appearing Real, and that luck could mean Labouring Under Correct Knowledge. The more information you have on any subject—especially case histories—the less likely you’ll be to put off your decisions.
9. Accept problems as inevitable offshoots of change and progress. With the ever more rapid pace of change in society and business, you’ll be overwhelmed unless you view change as normal and learn to look for its positive aspects—such as new opportunities and improvements—rather than bemoan the negative.
Reproduced with the kind permission of Denis Waitley. Denis has studied and counseled leaders in every field from Apollo astronauts to Fortune 500 top executives, from Olympic gold medalistsAC to Super Bowl champions.
|Instead, when you are working hard realize this is your season to do so… and also make plans for time to recharge, renew and spend quality time with the people you love. When you are working, commit fully to your work. When you are home with your family or significant other, commit fully to engaging with them and enjoy your personal time. By understanding your rhythm, planning and committing to the seasons of your life you may not achieve perfect work-life balance but you will create a flow and rhythm that makes you happier, more product and… less guilty.Reproduced with the kind permission of Jon Gordon, author of ‘The Energy Bus’|
Essence of Fear and fighting back! Part 1
Fear of Flying.
I have been fortunate enough to have flown all my life from the tender age of 9 months old. I have never had a bad experience flying in my 24 years on this planet. However, I experienced my worst ever flight coming back from holiday in August last year and now I’m absolutely petrified.
So this year, I decided I would not let my fear hold me back and go on holiday again. This time I armed myself with herbal remedies to calm my nerves. This didn’t work. Even though I had an okay experience it was a bit rocky, I was a nightmare to be around. For those two hours I was on edge and my body was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Coming back to the UK was the worst as we were going through a thunderstorm. Even writing this article about it is making me nervous.
I have tried various different methods on trying to deal with this fear. Fear is such a natural emotion its basic instinct of flight or fight. It does amaze me how it changes in me all the time. In some circumstances where I have had pure fear such as the other week I heard someone downstairs, I grabbed the baseball bat and went down to face my fear. So my natural reaction in that instinct was to fight. Thankfully it was just the cat which knocked something over. Whereas other circumstances I freeze and want to run and hide this made me wonder why?
Fear in Recruitment
In recruitment, I am always dealing with people’s fear of change. As something new is scary. However, would you rather be unhappy for the rest of your life staying in the same place and have never had the guts to try something new? I am always showing people the light at the end of the tunnel. Change is needed to grow and as you grow you develop yourself and drive positivity all around you.
With all the recent depressing news around us what is wrong with grabbing that chance of happiness. Life if too short for be sitting down and wondering what if? Or saying in your 60’s “I should have done that”.
In recruitment I am always been given peoples CV’s, I see them as a path of people’s lives shown before me, like a blueprint or a map. Some make positive moves forwards and others not so much. However, they are always willing to embrace change. Life is full of unopened doors and paths to walk down, may it be dark and dangerous or fun and fulfilling, you will never know until you try.
Every day there is someone trying to face there fear, be it a fear of change, a fear of spiders we all have our own personal nightmares. So how do you overcome them?
If you have a phobia, you probably realize that your fear is unreasonable, yet you still can’t control your feelings. Just thinking about the feared object or situation may make you anxious. And when you’re actually exposed to the thing you fear, the terror is automatic and overwhelming.
The experience is so nerve-wracking that you may go to great lengths to avoid it — inconveniencing yourself or even changing your lifestyle. If you have claustrophobia, for example, you might turn down a lucrative job offer if you have to ride the elevator to get to the office. If you have a fear of heights, you might drive an extra twenty miles in order to avoid a tall bridge.
Understanding your phobia is the first step to overcoming it. It’s important to know that phobias are common. Having a phobia doesn’t mean you’re crazy! It also helps to know that phobias are highly treatable. You can overcome your anxiety and fear, no matter how out of control it feels.
What is Fear?
Fear is a chain reaction in the brain that starts with a stressful stimulus and ends with the release of chemicals that cause a racing heart, fast breathing and energized muscles, among other things, also known as the fight-or-flight response. The stimulus could be a spider, a knife at your throat, an auditorium full of people waiting for you to speak or the sudden thud of your front door against the door frame.
The brain is a profoundly complex organ. More than 100 billion nerve cells comprise an intricate network of communications that is the starting point of everything we sense, think and do. Some of these communications lead to conscious thought and action, while others produce autonomic responses. The fear response is almost entirely autonomic: We don’t consciously trigger it or even know what’s going on until it has run its course.
Top Tips of overcoming fear?
1) Face your fears, one step at a time
It’s only natural to want to avoid the thing or situation you fear. But when it comes to conquering phobias, facing your fears is the key. While avoidance may make you feel better in the short-term, it prevents you from learning that your phobia may not be as frightening or overwhelming as you think. You never get the chance to learn how to cope with your fears and experience control over the situation. As a result, the phobia becomes increasingly scarier and more daunting in your mind.
2) Exposure: Gradually and repeatedly facing your fears
The most effective way to overcome a phobia is by gradually and repeatedly exposing yourself to what you fear in a safe and controlled way. During this exposure process, you’ll learn to ride out the anxiety and fear until it inevitably passes.
Through repeated experiences facing your fear, you’ll begin to realize that the worst isn’t going to happen; you’re not going to die or “lose it”. With each exposure, you’ll feel more confident and in control. The phobia begins to lose its power. Successfully facing your fears takes planning, practice, and patience. The following tips will help you get the most out of the exposure process.
3) Climbing up the “fear ladder”
Make a list. Make a list of the frightening situations related to your phobia. If you’re afraid of flying, your list (in addition to the obvious, such as taking a flight or getting through take-off) might include booking your ticket, packing your suitcase, driving to the airport, watching planes take off and land, going through security, boarding the plane, and listening to the flight attendant present the safety instructions.
Build your fear ladder. Arrange the items on your list from the least scary to the scariest. The first step should make you slightly anxious, but not so frightened that you’re too intimidated to try it. When creating the ladder, it can be helpful to think about your end goal (for example, to be able to be near dogs without panicking) and then break down the steps needed to reach that goal.
Facing a fear of dogs: A sample fear ladder
Step 1: Look at pictures of dogs.
Step 2: Watch a video with dogs in it.
Step 3: Look at a dog through a window.
Step 4: Stand across the street from a dog on a leash.
Step 5: Stand 10 feet away from a dog on a leash.
Step 6: Stand 5 feet away from a dog on a leash.
Step 7: Stand beside a dog on a leash.
Step 8: Pet a small dog that someone is holding.
Step 9: Pet a larger dog on a leash.
Step 10: Pet a larger dog off leash.
Work your way up the ladder. Start with the first step (in this example, looking at pictures of dogs) and don’t move on until you start to feel more comfortable doing it. If at all possible, stay in the situation long enough for your anxiety to decrease. The longer you expose yourself to the thing you’re afraid of, the more you’ll get used to it and the less anxious you’ll feel when you face it the next time. If the situation itself is short (for example, crossing a bridge), do it over and over again until your anxiety starts to lessen.
Once you’ve done a step on several separate occasions without feeling too much anxiety, you can move on to the next step. If a step is too hard, break it down into smaller steps or go slower.
Practice. It’s important to practice regularly. The more often you practice, the quicker your progress will be. However, don’t rush. Go at a pace that you can manage without feeling overwhelmed. And remember: you will feel uncomfortable and anxious as you face your fears, but the feelings are only temporary. If you stick with it, the anxiety will fade. Your fears won’t hurt you.
Learn relaxation techniques
As you’ll recall, when you’re afraid or anxious, you experience a variety of uncomfortable physical symptoms, such as a racing heart and a suffocating feeling. These physical sensations can be frightening themselves—and a large part of what makes your phobia so distressing. However, by learning and practising your breathing you can become more confident in your ability to tolerate these uncomfortable sensations and calm yourself down quickly.
Relaxation techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, and muscle relaxation are powerful antidotes to anxiety, panic, and fear. With regular practice, they can improve your ability to control the physical symptoms of anxiety, which will make facing your phobia less intimidating. Relaxation techniques will also help you cope more effectively with other sources of stress and anxiety in your life.
Challenge negative thoughts
When you have a phobia, you tend to overestimate how bad it will be if you’re exposed to the situation you fear. At the same time, you underestimate your ability to cope.
The anxious thoughts that trigger and fuel phobias are usually negative and unrealistic. It can help to put these thoughts to the test. Begin by writing down any negative thoughts you have when confronted with your phobia. Many times, these thoughts fall into the following categories:
- Fortune telling. For example, “This bridge is going to collapse;” “I’ll make a fool of myself for sure;” “I will definitely lose it when the elevator doors close.”
- Overgeneralization “I fainted once while getting a shot. I’ll never be able to get a shot again without passing out;” “That pit bull lunged at me. All dogs are dangerous.”
- Catastrophizing. “The captain said we’re going through turbulence. The plane is going to crash!” “The person next to me coughed. Maybe it’s the swine flu. I’m going to get very sick!”
Once you’ve identified your negative thoughts, evaluate them. Use the following example to get started.
Facing My Fear
There are various different ways in which to deal with fear. I personally tried to face my fear of heights on Sunday at Que Garden’s. I went on the “Treetop tour” which would enable me to see beautiful views. I could see it was very high up and my whole body was saying “NO!”. So I walked up the stairs instead of the see-through lift and got to the top. The floor was made of mesh and I didn’t feel very safe up there and I could see straight to the bottom. So I held onto the side and said to myself “I can do this, I can do this, I will be fine, I will be fine, and I’m 100% ok”.
I must have looked insane but I needed to calm myself. So I started walking and looked around me at the beautiful views the greens of the trees and the great views in the distance. I was less on edge, however there was one point where there was a circular viewing point to each bit I wasn’t prepared for the mesh to dip in quite dramatically, I honestly thought I was going to fall through, I thought I was going to have a major panic attack and start crying. I stopped and controlled my breathing “ I can do this, I can do this, I am 100% ok”. I carried on and was proud of myself and facing my fear, it was a step forward.
I have tried the steps above to face my fear of flying. I have bought Paul McKenna’s book as well “flying confidence”. I have been listening to it once a day. I will not let this fear control me, I will fight it with everything I have got. I have booked a fight for November for my birthday, I will let you know how it goes.
So what are your fears? How do you deal with them? What works for you?
What exactly are you capable of achieving? What is a realistic expectation for your life and what constitutes sheer madness? Is there a limit to how high you should aim?
The simple answer to these questions is simply that you are capable of achieving anything you set your mind to; if you can think it, then it’s a realistic expectation; and you can aim as high as you want.
We have probably all heard the “wise” saying: “the sky is the limit.” This would seem to have a lot of wisdom in it at first glance. However, it implies that man’s potential has a limit when in actual fact, man’s potential is limitless. Let’s examine what exactly your potential as a human being is.
Firstly, let’s define potential. Potential is all that you can be, but have not yet become. It is all you can accomplish, but have not yet accomplished. It is unexposed or dormant ability.
This means that the ability to become and to do is already there. It just hasn’t been brought out and utilized.
Consider a fertilized human egg (zygote). That single cell has the ability to form every part of the human body. Everything from your brain to your toenails can be formed by that single cell. It has unlimited potential.
Similarly, the mind of man has unlimited potential. It has the limitless ability to create. Man has been on earth for thousands of years, yet we are still making new discoveries today and creating new things everyday. We cannot exhaust the creative power of our minds.
The functioning of our minds remains, for the most part, a mystery even to modern day science. But even though we do not understand it’s functioning, we cannot deny its power.
Your most powerful asset is your mind. The answer to the question ‘what is a realistic goal and what is achievable’ is entirely up to you. If your mind can accept that something is achievable, it will find a way to attain that thing.
“Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve.” These are the immortal words of Napoleon Hill, a man who truly understood that “there are no limitations to the mind except those we acknowledge.”
Your possibilities are limited only by your thinking. What may be a limit for one person is a walk in the park for another. It’s all in the mindset.
Your potential as a human being, then, is unlimited. You have within you the ability to become and to achieve anything you want. Now that you understand that your potential is limitless, your next challenge is to answer the question: what do you want out of life?
Self-Confidence: Nature or Nurture?
As a headhunter, I have been shown a glimpse into lots of peoples lives and aspirations and it has made me think about self confidence. Is it something we are born with? Or is it something we develop as adults?
I remember learning these principles in Physical Education at A Level, looking around my class and analysing my surroundings. My class was split into two very obvious groups those who were in the “A- Team” and those who were the “B team”. The majority of those in the “A-Team” had vast amounts of self confidence and self worth, however there were a few exceptions.
There was one individual, i remember very well being an excellent Hockey player, the moves she could come up with were extraordinary, yet she didn’t believe she was any special. When asked ” You play hockey are you any good?” she would always say ” I can get by”. At first I thought it was her being humble and not bragging about her abilities. However, the more i got to know her, she generally had no idea how good she was. I mean playing for England was a bit of an indicator to her excellence and she just said it was just “luck”.
So i asked myself, Is self-confidence something that you’re born with or is it taught and developed? It’s the classic nature vs. nurture question. While current wisdom has been for some time that it’s mostly nurture, there’s some surprising new research that indicates we may genetically predisposed to be self- confident.
So made me think smart children on balance do well in school. That may seem obvious, but there are a lot of exceptions to that rule. Some children with high IQs don’t ever become academic superstars, while less gifted children often shine. But why is this?
Psychologists have focused on things like self-esteem and self-confidence—how good children think they are—to explain these outcomes. And the assumption has always been that such psychological traits are shaped mostly by parenting—by parents’ beliefs and expectations and modelling.
Researchers like Albert Bandura have argued that the initial efficacy experiences are centred in the family. But as the growing child’s social world rapidly expands, peers become increasingly important in children’s developing self-knowledge of their capabilities. So, until now, an individual’s self-confidence was seen to be based on upbringing and other environmental factors.
Behavioural geneticist, Corina Greven of King’s College in London and her colleague, Robert Plomin of the Institute of Psychiatry, argue that self-confidence is more than a state of mind—but rather is a genetic predisposition. Their research, published in Psychological Science, is a rigorous analysis of the heritability of self-confidence and its relationship to IQ and performance.
They studied more than 3700 pairs of twins, both identical and fraternal twins, from age seven to age ten. Comparing genetically identical twins to non-identical siblings allows scientists to sort out the relative contributions of genes and the environment.
Contrary to accepted wisdom, the researchers found that children’s self-confidence is heavily influenced by heredity—at least as much as IQ is. Indeed, as-yet-unidentified self-confidence genes appear to influence school performance independent of IQ genes, with shared environment having only a negligible influence.
The fact that self-confidence is heritable does not mean it is unchanging, of course. Siblings share a lot of influences living in basically the same home and community, but there are always worldly influences pulling them apart. A genetic legacy of self-confidence merely opens up many possible futures.
Greven and Plomin also found that children with a greater belief in their own abilities often performed better at school, even if they were actually less intelligent. They also concluded that same held true for athletes, with ability playing a lesser role than confidence.
Confidence at work??
I have found through the years going into peoples lives as a headhunter you develop a strong emotional intelligence and pick up on behaviour. If the individual will take the new role? Will this individual ring me back? It doesn’t sound like they can speak? Predictable behaviour of the individual?
You get a real insight into peoples own “masks”. Everyone has their own masks, some as a “work perspective” others to conceive that they don’t feel confident in the role that they have just been given.
I think the advice i could give to someone that brings a mask to work is like confidence your surroundings helps you feel confident in yourself, is it nature or nurture? Who knows? But all I can say is turn up to work being the superhero you are, as you are the only one capable of changing your situation. Be the mini superhero that you know you are and go into work and show them your “powers” your excellence and skills.
Do you go into work feeling confident? Do you enjoy your job? Are you looking for a move?
Turn to Right International to help you further your career.Let us put you on the path to super stardom.
Big question for you: “what are you doing to help build a new and better world?” Don’t blame the politicians. Don’t blame those around you. Don’t blame your parents or your background. Doing so is playing the victim and this world has far too many people playing the victim when they could be shining and making a profound difference.
Mother Teresa said it so much better than I ever could: “if each of us would only sweep their own doorstep, the whole world would be clean.” Nice.
Blaming others is excusing yourself. Telling yourself that you – as an army of one – cannot have an impact is giving away your power. A couple of college kids got their hands on empty school buses and drove them into New Orleans when everybody else said the city was unapproachable. A little man in a loincloth named Mohandas Gandhi freed an entire nation. A college student named Richard Branson took some initiative to start a record label on a shoestring that has since morphed into the Virgin empire. You are no different from them. We are all flesh and bones – cut from the same cloth.
In a recent issue of Vanity Fair, Jennifer Aniston said that she gives herself one day to play victim after a challenging event. After that day of feeling sorry for herself and powerless, she wakes up and takes ownership over the way her life looks. And if she doesn’t like a piece of it she sets about to change it. That’s personal leadership.
What don’t you like about your life or the organization you work for or the country you live in? Make a list. Write it down. Shout it out. And then do something to improve things. Anything. Start small or go big. Just do something. Today. Now. The world will be better for it.
Reproduced with kind permission from Robin Sharma